日本語  |  中文  |  English  |  한국(준비)


01.A Sunfish Is Dead Behind My House

I don’t understand
What is that?
A shining UFO?

Even the crows instinctively refuse to peck at it
And the dogs run away like mad
A heavy, drooping body
A long dorsal fin
Big, dull eyes

Its soul was no longer there

Why is an ocean sunfish dying behind my house?
An ocean sunfish about 2m in length is dying
There are just so many things wrong with this, I can’t even be angry
For now, I guess I should call the police

I tried eating it
It tastes awful
Smells fishy
And the sticky liquid is just awful

This absolutely incomprehensible reality
Made me even prepare for my own death
Is this an extreme prank?
Or could this possibly be a present?
Whatever the truth may be

I feel sorry for the ocean sunfish

The town I live in is far from the ocean
But an ocean sunfish is dying behind my house
I reported it to the police, but they won’t believe me
Please don’t report me, Mrs. Neighbor

Why is an ocean sunfish dying behind my house?
Even my mother won’t believe me
Now the mass media is interviewing me, Mrs. Neighbor
Are you watching, mother? Please believe me


(Translated  by Hinamawari)

02.Sweat Float Apartment

We promise to you days of sweetness,
And a life that floats to the top with joy…

In Room 101 is Uchiyama,
Who’s threatened advised by kind men
And out on the veranda,
He grows his (currently-still-)legal mushrooms

In Room 102 is Kitasato,
Who has no tricks, sleights of hand, or future
He disappeared his savings with magic,
But doesn’t know how to get them back

In Room 103 is Ms. Morikawa,
And she likes a violent, jobless man,
A royal straight sleazebag;
It’s a first love without much juice

In Room 104 is Ms. Iijima,
Who’s very popular among primates,
But she’s allergic to mammals,
So she foams at the moath when approached

We promise to you days of sweetness,
And a life that floats to the top with joy
Let’s spend our time together as good friends
This is where people are made happy!

In Room 201 is Nakamoto,
A very well-behaved young man
But his common sense must be glitchy,
Because he works as an ivory smuggler

In Room 202 is Murakami,
An expert in masochism
When he gets Xes put on his family census,
That’s when he’s most invigorated

In Room 203 is Ms. Takehara,
Who keeps an adorable Shiba Inu
And she so enjoys fawning over him,
She’s lost her job, all trust, and her liver

In Room 204 is Ms. Takakura,
Who’s been waiting for a friend to come over
And some sushi she ordered for them
For about 30 years now

We promise to you days of sweetness,
And a life that floats to the top with joy
Let’s all work together with our best buds
This is where smiles are put on people!

Hm? You say none of them seem happy?
That may have been at the time, however…
Just a while ago, something fantastic happened!
And everyone became happy, just like that!

Uchiyama’s mushrooms suddenly propogated,
And all the residents were unintentionally affected
Their judgement and memory went bonkers,
So everyone got their rooms mixed up!

Uchiyama’s room has Nakamoto with his flimsy ethics,
Enticed by the shrooms more profitable than ivory!

Nakamoto’s room has Ms. Morikawa, lukewarm first-lover,
Now loving the honest-ish youth! They’re getting along!

Ms. Morikawa’s room has ultimate masochist Murakami,
Who’s being treated well by the sleazebag still there!

Murakami’s room has time-whiling Ms. Takakura,
Who’s at last awakened to the joy of being left be!

Ms. Takakura’s room has primate fave Ms. Iijima,
Who, living secluded and alone, will foam no more!

Ms. Iijima’s room has Shiba-Inu-adoring Ms. Takehara,
Who picked up some allergies and parted from her pet!

Ms. Takehara’s room has dismal magician Kitasato,
Who now has little left to eat but dog hair!

And so everyone but Kitasato became happy!
So now, let these joyful days go on!
Because of Uchiyama’s mistake,
He’s been sent on a vacation abroad…
So Room 101 is open!
We’re calling for tenants!

Oh, what wonderful apartments!


(Translated by vgperson)

03. On My Birthday, Aglio e Olio Was Nice to Me

It’s your birthday, but it’s your workday.
You smile and say “It’s just a weekday”
You deserve to show any complaints
but you hide and put it under your smile.

It’s dark and breezing night
You came back to home with exhausted.
I want to warm you up
from the heart of your body.

I wish you’ll never feel cold again.
I wish you’ll never dream a nightmare again.
I feel pain at the same point as you.
I swear to stop your small hands shivering.
You overcome a hard day, today.
And you’ll fight for another day.
I want to be your help. Even if it’s just a little.
So please twirling ME with your folk.

I’m a peperoncino. I’m made for you.
The smells of garlic, olive oil, and red chili
blended with pasta cooking water,
will excite your heart.

You’re busy today as always?
Did anybody tell you bad things?
Don’t be patient too much.
I feel you.

I know how many times you wanted to say “tired” but keep it in your mind.
I know how many yawns you killed.
Through every such thing away from you.
I’ll be in you instead.
Because you try to finish everything in perfect,
you forget how to break yourself.
I drag you stomach in you,
so please eat my bacon without chewing

I wish your effort ending with a happy story.
I wish your struggling save someone one day.
Just like me; instant noodle,
I give you a word sparkling just for today.
“Happy Birthday to You”

(Translated by VitaminC)

04.Welcome to the “Let-me-lick-your-elbow-for-the-first-greeting Club”

Greetings. Everyone.
Would you mind me licking your elbow a little bit?
Don’t worry. I don’t hurt you.
I’m a member of the “Let-me-lick-your-elbow-for-the-first-greeting Club”

You got it? Then please show your elbow.
Don’t worry let’s begin with the left one.
Oh. Oh. I don’t mean to harass you
We will LICK fair, conforming to the rules of good sportsmanship,

Come on now ! Give your left elbow.
Next, I gotta lick your right.
You don’t have to be scared. After I carefully licked both of your elbows,
I promise you that I sanitise them for sure.

Please, don’t look at me like that.
We treat everyone equally
We just lick other’s elbow for the first greetings.

We’re very busy in every April.
All senior students and new joiners enjoy licking each other.
One day we finally finish licking everyone’s elbows,
and then we have nothing left to be done.

Come on now ! Give your left elbow.
Next, I gotta lick your right.
We have a clear definition for the border of elbow and arm.
So you don’t have to worry about anything.

Hurry up ! Give your left elbow.
Next, I gotta lick your right.
Whatever happens to us
I never lick you kees. I swear.

(Translated by VitaminC)

05.Kappas are Boiling Slugs in My Kitchen

Kappas are boiling slugs in my kitchen
They’re boiling them in a surprisingly large pan
“Sorry, sorry, I’ll pay the gas bills”
The gas bills aren’t the problem here…

Friday night, work is over, today I’m all alone at home
Watching an American video I rented from TSUKAYA with red wine.

When I open the door,
I can smell cooking from my hometown for a moment.
In the house I live alone,
I can see a green silhouette in the kitchen.

Kappas are boiling slugs in my kitchen
They’re boiling slugs while using a kitchen timer.
“Sorry, sorry, but I cleaned my feet before coming in”
The problem isn’t you not cleaning your feet…

I’ve got tons of things I want to say, but my voice fails me.
What did I do in a previous life to deserve this?

“Don’t worry about it- just take a bath or something”
How am I supposed to take a bath in this situation?!
“I just boiled the hot water”
I keep on arguing…

The kappas kindly heated up the water for me.
They heated up the water so I could go into the bath as soon as I returned.
“Sorry, sorry, I’ll let you take a bath first”
Just let me go in after…

When I get out of the bath,
There’s no sign of the kappas.
On the note left in the kitchen
There’s a present in the refrigerator

There’s the slugs that the kappas boiled.
They’re placed cutely in a teacup.
“I made it so that it matches with red wine”
Wait a second, you didn’t refund me for all that gas you used…

(Translated by Lucia Malpense)

06.And Then There Were None And Then

It’s showtime. Admire my power of reasoning !!
I’ll hunt you down, brutal monster !!

MURDER !! – at a hotel deep in the mountains –
Due to heavy rain the road is closed, and the local police cannot head to the site.
The detective staying there by chance is trying to identify the criminal
There are 8 guests at the night and they are all suspects.

Suspect A: Victim’s Friend.
Holding a grudge against the victim, who stole her boyfriend.
Back of his neck, he is tattooed “Exciting pay back”
and he holds a bloody breeding knife.

Suspect B:Knife Collector
Never stop showing interest in cutting fresh meat
“For me, pork is no longer satisfying…” he said with drooling.
You’re drooling just because you are hungry, right ?

Suspect C: Mr.Bloodstained
For-some-reason, he is clearly fatally red
He is swigging a water bottle of wine
OR something very red to drink.

Suspect C: “Hi ! I’m Psycho !”
Which means he feels joy from murdering.
“Wrong. I don’t say anybody is ok”, he said
Wrong. Nobody.

It’s showtime. Admire my power of reasoning !!
We are enough suspects, but not enough victims.
I’ll hunt the monster, but let me say first
We should just arrest them all once

Suspect E: Super suspicious person
“I…I fried to…Aidaho.
And…I suck…suck blood of my…my livestock”
He nervously tells his alibi.
If you’re not lying, I finally found UMA

Suspect F: Pure Eyes
Building a school in Africa
He is too clean. He must be one of them.
He must be an expert of “it’s me scam”

Suspect G: Starving Grizzly
Her name is Whippy. A pet of the owner
In the past there was at a tragic accident at Nigata City
where she learned the taste of human

Suspect H: “Hi ! I’m Psycho!!”
We only have TWO. What a miracle.
He hit it off with the other.
They said “Actually, anybody is ok bro”

It’s showtime. Admire my power of reasoning !!
We have enough criminals, but not enough murders.
I’ll hunt the monster. The only clue is the dying message
“a mole on nose”
…thank you. they all have.

The owner is crying
“I feel so anxious that I cannot focus on my hobby touring”
There is no hope to solve this mystery. but let me read the line
“The criminal is somewhere in here !!”

Please, don’t look at me like “I-know-it” faces.
We have enough criminals, but not enough bodies.
“I’ll hunt the monster”, but before even I tried
The “ Pure Eyes” turned himself in
For Murder and Telephone Scam
He was Arrested ! It’s Settled !!
…..so what are you all doing here ?

(Translated by VitaminC)

07. The Loquat Growing On My Forehead Has A Terrible Personality

A loquat tree has grown out of my forehead,
acting as though it has always been there.
I’m scared of trying to pluck it recklessly,
and I’m also too embarrassed to go see a doctor.

When I, due to my new-found clumsiness caused by the heavy loquat,
accidentally shaved off one of my eyebrows,
the loquat, indifferent to my suffering and tears,
began to lengthen explosively.

Come on, please let this be a nice story where
when I’m sad it will wilt and when I’m happy it will grow.
Don’t you dare flaunt your fruits whenever I’m depressed.
Are you trying to be inversely proportional to the amount of my hair? You bastard!

A loquat tree has grown out of my forehead,
acting as though it has been there since my grandfather’s generation.
It doesn’t grow when I’m sleeping,
but as soon as I wake up and look at it, it’ll be growing.

Onto the loquat that’s prospering in front of my eyes,
I decided to spray some herbicide.
A few minutes after I thought it was all over,
I came to regret my action.

The loquat tree has sprouted a new branch in a location such that
the drops of fluid would drip right into my eye. I’ll need a shower hat.
When I turn in my sleep, it would drip onto the tatami and make it rot.
Finally, I decided to wash it with water, which nurtured the loquat back to life.

I’ll have to try the opposite approach.
If it grows when I’m in a slump,
then it should wilt when I laugh.
Try my roars of laughter on for size.

A second tree has grown out of my right armpit, and it grows when I laugh. Seriously?!
On top of that, I can no longer put my right arm down because of the sharp branches.
This is now a life-threatening exigency, so I called for an ambulance.
But when the ambulance arrived, I had already completely removed the loquat.


(Translated by animeyay)

08.My Dog is jammed in the video cassette recorder in the Holy Night

I’m living the life. It’s no doubt. Tonight, I go out with my girlfriend.
I’ve made a reservation for a luxurious dinner. With night view, I’ll tell her my love.
I will.

We’ll meet at 17:30. I’m making preparations in good time.
Just at the time when I’m getting out, wearing high ends.

I heard something being jammed. I turned back and open the door for my living room.

What are you doing? Why on this Christmas Day?
What made you think to try getting in there? Why did try?
I see your head and front legs. You must have stepped back carefully.
You should have enter from your head first like a stupid. Beacuse I know you are.

You don’t moan in pain, nor you struggle to escape.
Your eyes with deep sadness were looking at the Rewind button.

No.No. No. The time-machine is not such acrobatic.

What are you doing? Why on this Christmas Day?
What you did in the past. You want to redo what?
The minutes hand points the floor. My phone vibrates because…
Because of her left in cold. How can I explain this?

What AM I doing, Why disassembling the VCR in the Holy Night.
Don’t look at me in sad you dog. I’m doing this for you.
Listen! Santa Claus! What I want for the most is
a rescue team never say “What a stylish abusing!!”

(Translated by VitaminC)

09.A Clingy Boy Sticking for 15 Years

For 15 years, I’ve been sending
love poems to you.
I still haven’t received a reply.
I still haven’t received a reply.

In the 1st year I was quite bold.
I wrote to you every single day,
and licked the stamps tirelessly,
hoping that my saliva (heart) would reach you.

In the 2nd year I was still reckless.
I had no idea my house was on fire.
My clothes were burning from the bottom.
When I came to my senses, only my collar was left.

In the 3rd year I became more mellow.
I entered the field of literature.
After I started publishing my work on mixi,
my friend list gradually became maxed out.

In the 4th year I submitted various pieces to magazines.
I even started discussing social problems.
After my poem collection was approved for publication,
I quit working at my old company.

For 15 years, I’ve been sending
love poems to you.
I still haven’t received a reply.
I still haven’t received a reply.


In the 5th year I had become a professional poet.
I was especially popular among females age 20-34.
However, since I was very earnest and faithful,
all the other girls looked like nothing more than daikon.

In the 6th year I wrecked my health.
The number of my poems had gone above 2000.
Every one of my bones broke at least once.
Every one of my organs was damaged at least once.

In the 7th year I was back in top condition.
What should I compare you to today?
Maybe extreme ironing?
Or maybe a complex inner product space?

In the 8th year there wasn’t any change in me.
What should I compare you to today?
Maybe a sumo wrestler one step away from the major league?
Or maybe an AMPA glutamate receptor?

For 15 years, I’ve been sending
love poems to you.
I still haven’t received a reply.
I still haven’t received a reply.

In the 9th year an accident took place.
It seemed like I had been hit in the head hard.
Although I had forgotten even my own name,
I managed to remember my love for you.


In the 10th and 11th years,
my memory still hadn’t returned.
Nevertheless, I still loved you.
I merely, merely wanted a reply.

In the 12th and 13th years,
my memory still hadn’t returned.
I still, still loved you.
My love for you was the only thing I had.

In the 14th year my memory still hadn’t returned.
Everyday I felt scared and uneasy.
I wanted to see you once more.
I wanted to talk to you once more.

In the 15th year my memory returned.
I remembered everything and started crying.
I had finally remembered,
that you had already died 15 years ago.

Will my love poems reach you
if I keep writing more and more?
Everyday I tossed more poems
into the room that used to be yours.
Although you are no longer with me,
I will still keep loving you. However,
I thought maybe we’d be able to meet again someday.
Once again, you left me.

For 16 years, I’ve been sending
love poems to you.
I still haven’t received a reply.
I still haven’t received a reply.

(Translated by KataGatar)

10.Time-Warped After Chopping The Stag Beetle

An unnaturally-colored sky,
A futuristic city sprawls before my eyes
My carefree stag beetle crawls on my shoulder;
Just what is this place…?

I was with my beloved pet stag beetle,
Just playing around, but something happened
I suddenly panicked, and again and again,
I kept karate-chopping my stag beetle

“Go back! Go back!” I kept screaming,
As I attacked the insect
A policeman with hair like a flower arrangement
Called out: “You there, with the crooked teeth!”

The future person pointed out my complex;
Talk about disrespecting your ancestors!
And I, the primitive girl, appealed in tears,
“I’m just karate-chopping a stag beetle!”

“But stag beetles went extinct 10 years ago!”
The policeman said with surprise
He believed what I said, so he told me
This was the world 50 years in the future

If you meet yourself in this era,
You might figure out a way to go back
He readily helped me find my house,
So I visited, and my granddaughter was there

I could see clearly the teeth were hereditary;
Two generations later, they were alarmingly alike
And I, the primitive girl, encouraged her in tears,
“On the bright side, they make you look fierce!”

“Well, in this era, you’re here,”
She said, leading me to a hospital
They said I had one month left to live,
And today marked exactly a month…

Despite the bony, aged face,
I still knew that it was me
It seemed my future self
Had waited for this moment, and spoke…

“You don’t have to say anything;
I know what you’re going to say…
If I told you everything now, I’m sure
It would alter my destiny to die today…
But there is just one thing I’ll tell you…”

“From now on, time and time again,
Again and again you’ll have regrets,
Again and again you’ll be hurt,
Again and again you’ll cry…
But if for each of these,
You waste your life looking back,
One day, it’ll give you a terrible fever…
I want to just let things go,
So return as if you never came,
And I’ll surely be happy…”

The old woman lost her warmth,
And I shed a tear for her on my stag beetle
As soon as it touched him, it sparkled,
And I was surrounded by familiar sights…

Surrounded by the still-blue sky…


(Translated by vgperson)

Start typing and press Enter to search

Shopping Cart